Hot Tubs and Children

Crash. It was an odd set of circumstances but my feet, going one way, and Jenn's foot going another, just got tangled and BOOM, down I go. Arnica, ibuprofen, and Topricin, have helped ease the pain and bruising, but cripes, why do I have to remind myself that I'm still young enough to get up???

The hot tub over at my boy's house was also wonderful. Thank the Universe for hot tubs... and children.

Pendant For J

I had a little holiday show at work and sold a few things. It was nice. But I think my favorite was the only guy who bought something. He's one of the sweet ones. Lots of times he's my Bengali tea boy, annoying and awkward and annoying. So I try to love him the best I can. I try to see myself in him. It's a practice, at this point, and I think it's a good one.

It's one of the pieces from a brass ashtray I found at the Goodwill. It's connected with a very old African trade bead and I find the energy from it especially grounding. I'm really glad he has it.

Vulnerability

Stillness Within Movement

Today a massage. And messages. Messages about challenges and the importance of seeing the teacher in our experience. Release. Energy moving from mind to heart. Perception and focus as pendulum, back and forth and then again Breath. Breathing into pelvis. Out toward openness without denying grief.

I have a practice now of taking really good things into my body. I'm reminded that I can practice, daily, quieting my mind.

Inside Outside Within

Broken Stuff

All day, little tiny crackling sounds in my, what is that? My heart? My mind? My soul? And tonight I considered the word shattered, over and over. And I wondered if shattered was the same thing as depressed. But I decided it was it's own thing. It's own special thing. A sadness so deep it breaks everything on the surface into pieces that scatter and reflect back and moanhowlbawl.

Went to put the hemp milk on the shelf in the cupboard above the sink and KAPLOWIE!!! a shattering of glass fell to the floor as the shelf just gave way. I stood in the corner, barefoot, silenced, stunned, frozen. Tiny steps at a time I walked through it to the place where my shoes were and I was safe.

For the moment.

Foggy Day, Happy Dog

What a beautiful day. It was supposed to burn off to 50 degrees but I don't think that ever happened and it didn't matter. We walked and ran and he swam and walked and ran and laughed and barked. And there was a heck of a lot of tail wagging.

When we first got together, today, he seemed unsure or a little nervous. He walked into my new home and sniffed for a good half hour and finally settled down. He's such a joy.

January 8, 2011

Re reading some posts on the blog and found this one from 2011. Memories streaming through me. Sensations of my innocence and hope.

Please, no more walls.