8 o'clock and the light is dimming. Used to be brightness past 9. You can feel it in the air and the colors are already changing color and drifting to the earth. The goats would look toward the sky and run to find the newly fallen little treats to gobble down.
I gave the goats to Rusty and his family. The man that built my fence, with hands so beautiful. His wife walked the goats around while we took down the electric fence. Laughing, she called out to us about how the grand kids would love Nina and Katan. My heart sang. I love them too. Still, there is a shedding of responsibilities these days.
A few days ago, while sitting on the cabin porch swing, a sensation of Solitude came upon me. Looking out toward some kind of light at the end of some tunnel, there she was, a remembering. I could feel the wave of transition, that moment when one time begins to pass into the next, as if time and space existed like an ocean and a shore. It took my breath away and brought it back attached to a huge grinning recognition. Happiness.
The house grows and grows. There is water in pipes that will soon have outlets and run for showers and dishes and cooking. Oh, and an on demand hot water heater. I think I will miss heating water on the stove for dishes and love having it at my fingertips at the same time. There is such a mediation to dishes now. I really want to bring that into the more convenient kitchen. That rhythm soothes and brings my attention into the moment, into presence.
Friday the roofing comes. Monday the electrician comes. After that it's insulation and drywall. There will be chunks of achievements and movement. When I think of this a kind of trembling happens. I don't think I've ever manifested a dream so deliberately, with so much awareness. Such blessings. I'm searching for ways to be as grateful as I feel. And with all the joys there have been some painful sadness too. Life gives us so many teachers. This too I am grateful for.
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