In This Silence

This silence seems to create a darkness and oh, I am so in need of Light. I find it where I can, I pray for it, I reach out, I go within, and it always comes to me, as Light will. Maybe saying good bye in this cyber void, this venue where I speak to the air and sometimes am heard, maybe saying it here will bring me some peace. 

Goodbye

Kat Hannah

One of my favorite artists on Etsy. This one is called "Over The Rough Spots"

It's about friendship. I am so blessed and grateful for mine.

Home

My son has lived in our home most of his life. He lives there now. He lives there now and I just told him that he has to be somewhere else in August. All day I've thought about it. And me. I've lived there for almost half my life. And I've decided to leave it. Go somewhere else. Smaller, more peaceful, somewhere else. And right now I'm having some grief about this. I know, I think I know, it's the right decision for me. Still... and a little more grief. I'm getting very intimate with it.

I left my home 3 years ago also, but I left my son holding down the fort. I thought I had a new home. That was not to be.

That's a picture of him in our front yard. My sweet dream come true. That baby is the same man I talked with today about our lives changing and we shared our concerns and fears and a kind of adventure anticipation. I love him beyond all measure. 

Snapshot

No picture today. Just a memory that will always be with me. The young man that lives in the apartment downstairs by the gate carrying his very old, probably 35 lb dog, down the sidewalk to a piece of grassy strip. I've seen him walking this sweet old man before, slowly. Now, he's carried like a baby with so much love, so tenderly. I'll never forget.

Tiny Houses

I love this website... Tiny Houses

Changes of Mind

My friends Karen and Bruce introduced me to the concept of event income. This was after I was talking with them about how romanticized my ambition to sell every Sunday at the market was and how I realized it wasn't really MY ambition but a voice in my head that had become so loud, thanks to the well meaning voices of others who believe that my work should be out there. I think it should be out there also but I'm not possessed by the traditional idea of success and am seriously not the person to spend every moment either "producing" or selling. My art is a blessing of the energy that comes through me , that becomes manifest. So... I can create and create to my hearts content and when the time comes for a road trip, or a sunny day at the market, I'm there, happily. I can't wait to see what will come into the world when the freedom of this choice joins the healing of my heart.

The other choice is about where to find my home. Before, following someone else's dream, I found the idea of moving from Seattle to Olympia, completely feasible. And in the recent past, tried to make it my own because, well, the homes you can find there are inexpensive and beautiful with land and water and wood floors. But then I realized that there is no longer a companion to share that with and I would find myself isolated and alone. Now, after I sell my house, the home of my dreams and my old age, will find me, embrace me, and I'll go happily.

There is a deep sense of contentment with these realizations and decisions. Anytime in life, those feelings are pretty welcome, but at this time of my life, they're beyond beautiful and precious.

Carnival

I love fusing glass and also metal. Fine silver will bond with itself with heat and then you go from there. This is one result. Whimsy and surprise. I love them both.

The little triangles are slices of glass cane. The red dots are glass paint that has become one with the base. The shiny glittery sparkle is dichroic glass. We all love it.

The Grays

Sitting in my car, listening to the sound of the rain on the roof, listening to my heart and the tears that continue without my volition, but with my blessing. There is no other way. My friends lives are touched by sorrow and hardship as well as love and beauty. And me also. The circles of our experience penetrate me like arrows of pain and joy. And we tire. And we persevere. And we let go and we don't. And still I believe every moment is perfect as it is. It's the only moment we have, as each slips through the fingers of our time here.