She said, what's up? You look so serious. And I realized she'd never seen me serious. I was worried about being late to work, already missing her even though she is standing in front of me kissing me, tired from not enough sleep, and she was smiling and so fucking present. I watched myself inside out. In comparison to my whole life I kept seeing me in this moment. This moment right before she turns to walk away and I have to find where I am. Future mind missing her, now mind loving her, past mind resting on glorious laurels. I stepped into the car after watching her disappear into the reflections on the sliding doors of Virgin Air. Sacred breath heaved from my chest and I closed my eyes for just a moment. Aries volcano music. That's my mind. That's the song that sometimes spins me around and drops me into atmosphere and longing and distraction. These are the notes that whirlwind me through my life in a revolution of creating and remembering who I am and am not. The Woman I Am Becoming smiles into my eyes with complete unconditional love and the Serious melts away and what is left is Being. Sweet. Work will survive beautifully if I'm a bit late. I can sleep, eventually. And the love that is, is big and miraculous and eternal. What's left is gratitude, looking forward to her return, and walking the dog before I get to work, late, but not too much.
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