Skwim

Opened the car door and was immediately smacked with an urge to kneel on the ground and push my fingers into the earth. That pungent wet forest floor composting cedar leaf odor came upon me like an opium. It was beautiful. I closed the door and walked the gravel road to the top of a gently sloping hill where the cleared home site came into view.

I stood there. Walked slowly to the center of this opening and it felt like I was entering an opening in myself. One with no edges. Just an expansiveness.

Sequim. Might you be the Home that's been calling to me?

Road To The Gate In Sunlight

Fence By The Gate

The Large Clearing At The Top Of The Hill

Clearing In Sunlight

Trail To Another Clearing

Another Trail To Another Clearing

Old Old Tree

Old Old Swing

Ye Olde Pooper

Yearling Change

This last year... earthquake change. I do a lot of navel gazing these days, although I hear that's not particularly socially acceptable, doesn't seem to matter. The truth is, with all the pain and uncertainty and chaos, I've never felt more alive. If only I could talk with the woman that pulled the rug out from under me, and thank her for such a blessing. Of course, my own heart deserves some credit, still, I am so grateful. One foot in front of the other and the path feels solid under these feet even though there is a mist that obscures any absolutes. Groundlessness. This is part of the teaching and the awakening. This is part of the understanding and the mystery, the unfolding. Thank you.

Merry Everything

Gift Of Story People

Windows

Paris 1973

My name was Moon. Lin and I made backpacks out of upholstery fabric samples and a pile of old leather that we found and sold them at a festival on Telegraph Ave in front of UC Berkeley. Our tickets cost $125 one way and we took a drive-away car (I had to explain drive-away to a twenty something the other day so I don't know if it still exists) from Santa Cruz, CA to somewhere in West Virginia and then a bus to NY City. It's a much longer story than this paragraph. Maybe some other time.

I didn't think I could draw in color back then. I had this thing in my head (probably from Easter outfit shopping with my mom, I think) that there were only certain colors that were supposed to go together. I somehow didn't understand the rules so I just left color out of it. There's a story about how that changed but, again,  maybe some other time.

Been watching a made for Amazon series (like Netflix Originals but different) called Transparent. Serious binge watching. A parent starts to transition from man to woman and how it affects change in everyone in his/her life. Centered around his family and how all their deepest darkest secrets start unraveling throwing them into a storm of evolving authenticity. Remarkable shit. I pretty much love it. And I cleaned my desk off which is a pretty major undertaking. Used to have a magnet on my fridge that said, "I hate housework. You clean and clean and clean and 6 months later  you have to do it all over again." Always helps to have some good philosophical drama to help me through it.

Hahahaha

It Is What It Is

I have some very dear people in my life. Lately they have been my comfort and joy and bring me peace of mind. Paula who always reads my blog and reminds me of stuff I need to know. Invitation from beautiful Karyn for a breakfast and then talked with my capricorn Sarah tonight after a difficult day, Erika and Becc called to make sure that the hip I'd fallen on would be ok, and here is an excerpt from an email I sent to dear Val...

"Today my angels of the Universe are chuckling and giving me some interesting messages. I just keep telling myself it is what it is. Although sometimes I get mad when I say that to myself. I want it to somehow be something else. (that made me smile). You see, my Realtor just called to tell me that she was raking and found the cap of an old oil container under the ground and that her window washer/gutter cleaner guy fell off his ladder on Sunday and can't work. So now the house is not going on the market until we take care of all that. The oil tank could be a couple of thousand dollars. :::long deep breath:::: One foot in front of the other, yes? Or maybe just to sit in the middle of the room or deep in the forest or on a beach until the direction and the timing are clear."


The house would have gone on the market tomorrow. The process was started in May of this year and just when you think you have your ducks in a row, badaboom. Clearly this is an exceptionally powerful time. Transformation is an ocean all around me and there is hardly anything known. Once again I'm reminded to pray like an attorney because you always get what you ask for. I asked for a beginners mind. See? You have to be careful.

Now it's time for a little walk. Slipped on a wet wooden stair today, hard, and although I'm extremely happy about being able to get up and walk, I don't want my very bruised ass to get stiff on me.