Hail Merry

I have to leave these in the car. They're not bad for me.... in reasonable numbers. They're paleo, they have medium chain fatty acids, and they're low glycemic. If I eat 3 that should be enough for one sitting but, no, I would eat the whole thing. I love coconut. My friend Bruce has been busted for Illegal Snacking in his household. Bruce, I feel your pain.

Garden

Happy garden of mine. I love coming home to it. It's a Joy maker.

Goddess

My friend Michael and I had coffee this morning. He's a new friend, one I can see cherishing. He moved here from FL last August with his young bride and a month ago she went out to the bar with a girlfriend and basically never came home. Met a guy and decided that she really didn't want to be married and she liked this guy more. We consoled each other. He's finally being able to eat and sleep. I was very worried for awhile.

After coffee, good conversation about Life, plans, hopes and dreams, I headed to the studio and have been here all day. This is the first time that's happened since my own personal relationship tsunami. There has been such an inexhaustible amount of energy consumed trying to hold all the emotion of that devastation. Hold it in a way that honors it. Hold it with integrity, that is, being within it without blame, with the kind of creative thought that refuses to be that which created the pain to begin with.

So. This is one of the pieces that was finished and Etsy-fied. Click Here I call her Goddess. I love this one. She reminds me of Wiab, one of my personal spirit guides/angels. Wiab stands for the Woman I Am Becoming. We become closer and closer with every changing day. When I think of this I find gratitude in even the most excruciating moments. May they bring me Peace and that Self Intimacy that is my path to remembering who I truly am.

Seattle Handmade

Wonderful evening of camaraderie and networking. 7 people showed up for our monthly Seattle Handmade (formally Team Etsy Rain)  meeting in Ballard with a woman from Washington Cash there to speak with us about their educational programs and loan products. 

I had decided to take part in the programs before this meeting but was so completely excited after the talk. AND I sat next to a woman that I had done a small, fairly fail craft show, last winter and I think I was most inspired by that exchange. I love this group of folks. S. the husband of A. was so sweet. I started to get too warm in the tiny room we were in so he opened the door for me AND brought me a glass of ice water. He's adorable.

I'm going to try and get K. to come with me to the next meeting. I know she'll read this. hehe And maybe S. will come too!!

Seattle Handmade Website

River of Life

New piece on Etsy.

Click Here

"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." Rumi

Rivers

I love these earrings.

Etsy Page Link

Interwoven Levels

Pressed glass is a process that is miraculously phenomenal. You put layers of glass in a kiln with a large amount of weight on top of it. The result is an abstraction of watery glass colors that continue to surprise. Then you cut individual pieces from the pressed piece and fuse again. Time consuming but very worth it. This one reminded me of a topographical map of oceans and earth. Click HERE for the Etsy page.

Water

Sold this piece, "Water Symbol" and I have really positive feelings about this one leaving and making room for others. Maybe some fire/and or earth. I have no water in my chart at all. So, I'm drawn to people and things that have that element as primary. Like the Ocean, like a Pisces or Cancer. But Ocean doesn't really care if I "get it" or not, people, on the other hand, people care a great deal. I'm thinking more red glass, more fire opals, more brilliant copper and things that need fire to manifest their genuine nature and purpose. Maybe the beings that use water to uncover themselves move too slowly for me and my impatience grows and flares. That's why I love glass. I get impatient when the kiln is doing its' magic but it's an impatience that knows that there WILL be a result and so it's an exhilaration of discovery rather than an impatience of potential non-gratification. There is a space between known and unknown. That primal birth place of doubt, mythology, and a string of speculations vs understanding. 

Equinox

The first day of Spring. It's an Aries time of year for me. That cardinal energy that pushes the delicate buds of crocus up through the snow with so much life and hope.

The Fall and Winter are often hard, hard like climbing a mountain, and then it's as if I've reached the top and there's the elation of that kind of success. And on the other side of the mountain is this soft, gracious, meadowy hill that I can just roll down and become ecstasy in. The balance of the light and the dark. So may that come true.

May everyone everywhere have a bright and blessed Spring.

Change

I love my job. I have varied responsibilities, the people I work with are wonderful, and I probably learn something new every day. But... sometimes I get annoyed at stuff and lately I'm trying to pay more attention to it. 

For instance, the ingenious rubber change holder. There are two ways I've seen it used and both of them have, most times, inspired aggravation. One is when it gets opened, like in the picture, and then the index finger of the opposite hand digs through the change FINALLY finding the exact amount and pulling each coin out, one at a time, until it's all there. The other way, is to open it up and dump the entire pile onto the belt or the counter and pull one coin at a time out of the mire. And the most irritation comes when there is a huge line of customers with "that" look, waiting their turn.

So my plan is to 1.  pay attention to what I'm feeling and remind myself it's just someone's way of holding change 2. remember that the other customers must somehow learn to be in touch with their sense of temporal poverty and just deal with it 3. remember to breathe.

So far this is working out splendidly and I've even gotten to know some of the rubber change holder customers better, as the time it takes for them to get the change out, leaves room for conversation. I must admit, however, that there's been a few times when I've suggested that change is a good thing and that just throwing all of it into a jar or piggy bank has it's rewards.

Progress

Latest addition, bamboo stakes for the sweetest of Sweet Peas. 

AND, I just got one of those brown paper pots. It's a bit taller than than the tubs but fits right in between those first two. I would have had to choose between potatoes and flowers but since there is no potato eating, flowers it will be. It's happy dance time.

Circles of Color

Just spent a fair amount of time renewing expired Etsy pieces and putting up new ones. I love this part too because the creativity is in the photography, as well as the descriptions. It's a meditation ritual where I close my eyes, breathe, let go of what really isn't and find the words of what really is.

Cave Kitchen

Behind the wall where the sink and stove are, is the Cave Bathroom. These two rooms and the bit of wood-ish flooring entry way are about a third of my cave. I like it. It doesn't overwhelm me. The ADD part of me enjoys cleaning it because there's not so much to get distracted by and in this solitude, in this tiny space, there is a kind of peace. 

The one problem might be routine. There is a tendency, in the cave, to do the same things the same way, every day. I'm thinking this might create a fertile environment for a kind of loneliness. Now, I don't mind being alone, but loneliness sucks. And it always sneaks up on me. When I feel it start to wrap it's insidious arms around me I leave the cave and go into the world where there is always surprise, spontaneous adventure, and the occasional puppy to be wonderfully greeted by. 

Balance. My friend, Solitude's Mirror, would always remind me to walk in balance. I remember those words so often. Maybe not as much as I forget them, but still...

Cosmos

While I clean the clutter from my desk top I'm watching the new Cosmos. (thank you Mr. Sagan for being such an inspiration) I'm just into the opening of it and already I'm enthralled. The study of the Universe ( I use that word instead of God ) and conversations about it and life, almost always brings me to some kind of fluttering inside my being. It's like being so tiny and still I become even more because I am reminded of connection. Not just connection, like a plug into a socket, but connection like.... I am That. Usually the sensation brings tears of joy and feelings of elation and my mind explodes and implodes simultaneously. hahaha it's not as painful as it sounds!!

And watching this will also give me more opportunity to have discussions with some of the young men at work that I've come to love dearly. Scientists and poets and engineers and humans so beautifully alive. Just the other day I told Colin about a movie I'd seen called Mr. Nobody. I recommended it to him because it was filled with the science and philosophy of time and dimensions. He watched it! And then he told me his favorite part was a thing they called telemerization. He's been studying DNA in school and there are little caps or tails at the end of dna strands called telemeres. And as we age these get shorter and shorter until our cells are not able to replicate like they used to and pieces of the dna begin to kind of fall off. A process called "senesence". Hence, aging.

There are studies being done on mice where they introduce the enzyme that keeps the telemere longer and the mice stay young. I loved it that he knew this. But more than his knowledge, I felt blessed by being present in his joy of discovery and his curiosity and his awe of  Life itself.

Kind of a Dork

One day she told me we needed new sponges. Well I work in a grocery store, albeit a natural foods grocery store, and right after the sponge need declaration, we had a sale. We had a sale on WHITE sponges. They're very pretty sponges. Pure white with a white softish scratchy side. Pure looking. Very clean. Until the very first use! What was I thinking??? I think I bought 100 of them. And I brought some with me to the new apartment. They get so disgusting so fast. Today I even put the 2 I was using into the washing machine. Not much help. So out they go. I think I only have about 32 left. Maybe I'll use one a day for the next month and see how that goes.

I didn't feel it was appropriate to put a picture of a dirty sponge on here. Use your imagination, k?

Easy Happy

ok so there's this plug on the wall and it's connected to the light switch when you walk in the front door. At first I plugged in the lamp by my chair but, um, that lamp turns on and off when you touch it on the metal shade so... when I turned it off with the light switch, nada. NOW, with a handy dandy extension cord, my wall sconce light plugs into it. It makes me so happy when I come into the dark room and flip the switch. Grinning from ear to ear every time. At first I tried to analyse. Then I just let it be. Sometimes I'm just easy.

Beautiful Gray Clouds

Rainy rainy days here in the Emeraldness. I'm actually loving it. The Cave is warm and cozy and the laundry is clean. Went through all the papers on my desk, and, since I don't have a filing cabinet here I'm thinking of getting one of those little boxes to hold them.

Listening to music, talking to friends, having an amazing conversation with my sister. We talked about things we've never talked about and promised to talk about more. I love her. Real, intimate communication is such a heart opener. Pretty scary sometimes but man, wow. So worth it.

There is one down spout outside my window that spills loudly against the walkway and it's like a waterfall right outside the door.Imagined summertime and all of us would dig a pool underneath it and then, that bbq that's in the laundry room, we would bring it out and make community dinner. We could use the spinach in the tub garden and play music from alternating apartments.

I'm so chuckling at my romanticism. Especially since the people to the left of me just moved out and I've been psyching myself up for the remodeling that will start to take place any day now. The people above me moved out last month so I know how it will go. And then I've got a much more energetic couple upstairs now. They must like each other because there is often the "squeeka squeeka squeeka" right where the sleeping area would be. Good for them. I hope so.

Chard, Spinach, Violas, Oh My

My little babies.  Now we just pray it's not too early.

In front of the violas I think I'll plant some trailing sweet peas. I'll smell them as soon as I open my door.

More Signs of Spring

Parked my car at the other end of the canal and walked to my studio. Bicyclist and  babies and dogs and daffodils and puppies and cormorants and widgeons were everywhere!! The sunshine is an elixir that we all love to drink up. And I drank my fill.

Spring

I went to 10 schools in 12 years. Then I moved around almost every year. for about 15 or 20 years, until about 30 years ago. Now I'm in a new home and realize that I've had to make my home be wherever I am. And I'm pretty good at it.  It's a kind of creativity. Imagining the possibilities and then beginning to live in the manifestations of those dreamings. 

Today my new garden began to take shape. Made me really really really happy. Tomorrow I'll get some leafy greens and flowers to brighten the days even more.

So Perfect

)

Yum

Another of my favorite Etsy finds.

The Paleo Diet Explained

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at my computer and all of a sudden it occurred to me that there was no pain in my body. A couple of days later I realized that the reason I've been so cold is because "inflammation" is completely related to the concept of "inflamed", a heating. Like when you have an injury on your body that's swollen and you can feel the heat coming from it. AND I lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. Pretty cool.

So I've been doing a Paleo diet since the first of December, 2013, and I feel so good I thought I might share this video I found about an explanation filled with studies and science jargon that creates a fair amount of credibility. 

Life Marks

Why do I love this box? Or maybe I love that someone took a photograph of it. There's life about it. Perhaps I just identify with it, like the way I've been looking at old women, like me.

In This Silence

This silence seems to create a darkness and oh, I am so in need of Light. I find it where I can, I pray for it, I reach out, I go within, and it always comes to me, as Light will. Maybe saying good bye in this cyber void, this venue where I speak to the air and sometimes am heard, maybe saying it here will bring me some peace. 

Goodbye

Kat Hannah

One of my favorite artists on Etsy. This one is called "Over The Rough Spots"

It's about friendship. I am so blessed and grateful for mine.

Home

My son has lived in our home most of his life. He lives there now. He lives there now and I just told him that he has to be somewhere else in August. All day I've thought about it. And me. I've lived there for almost half my life. And I've decided to leave it. Go somewhere else. Smaller, more peaceful, somewhere else. And right now I'm having some grief about this. I know, I think I know, it's the right decision for me. Still... and a little more grief. I'm getting very intimate with it.

I left my home 3 years ago also, but I left my son holding down the fort. I thought I had a new home. That was not to be.

That's a picture of him in our front yard. My sweet dream come true. That baby is the same man I talked with today about our lives changing and we shared our concerns and fears and a kind of adventure anticipation. I love him beyond all measure. 

Snapshot

No picture today. Just a memory that will always be with me. The young man that lives in the apartment downstairs by the gate carrying his very old, probably 35 lb dog, down the sidewalk to a piece of grassy strip. I've seen him walking this sweet old man before, slowly. Now, he's carried like a baby with so much love, so tenderly. I'll never forget.

Tiny Houses

I love this website... Tiny Houses

Changes of Mind

My friends Karen and Bruce introduced me to the concept of event income. This was after I was talking with them about how romanticized my ambition to sell every Sunday at the market was and how I realized it wasn't really MY ambition but a voice in my head that had become so loud, thanks to the well meaning voices of others who believe that my work should be out there. I think it should be out there also but I'm not possessed by the traditional idea of success and am seriously not the person to spend every moment either "producing" or selling. My art is a blessing of the energy that comes through me , that becomes manifest. So... I can create and create to my hearts content and when the time comes for a road trip, or a sunny day at the market, I'm there, happily. I can't wait to see what will come into the world when the freedom of this choice joins the healing of my heart.

The other choice is about where to find my home. Before, following someone else's dream, I found the idea of moving from Seattle to Olympia, completely feasible. And in the recent past, tried to make it my own because, well, the homes you can find there are inexpensive and beautiful with land and water and wood floors. But then I realized that there is no longer a companion to share that with and I would find myself isolated and alone. Now, after I sell my house, the home of my dreams and my old age, will find me, embrace me, and I'll go happily.

There is a deep sense of contentment with these realizations and decisions. Anytime in life, those feelings are pretty welcome, but at this time of my life, they're beyond beautiful and precious.

Carnival

I love fusing glass and also metal. Fine silver will bond with itself with heat and then you go from there. This is one result. Whimsy and surprise. I love them both.

The little triangles are slices of glass cane. The red dots are glass paint that has become one with the base. The shiny glittery sparkle is dichroic glass. We all love it.

The Grays

Sitting in my car, listening to the sound of the rain on the roof, listening to my heart and the tears that continue without my volition, but with my blessing. There is no other way. My friends lives are touched by sorrow and hardship as well as love and beauty. And me also. The circles of our experience penetrate me like arrows of pain and joy. And we tire. And we persevere. And we let go and we don't. And still I believe every moment is perfect as it is. It's the only moment we have, as each slips through the fingers of our time here.